Yay im rachel!  anyways i'm out of school now weeeeee!!!  but then i have summer school in a couple weeks but oh well... hmm maybe i will write in this again sometime but not right now cuz i don't feel like it, i just wanted to put that Friends thing up.

Currently Playing A Love Supreme By John Coltrane see related

When i sit and think about it, it hits me that the everyday experience of living life is so overwhelming.  It's fascinating to realize that everything i accomplish or learn on a given day is just a building block towards a bigger goal or revelation.  The thing i love about life is the fact that i keep learning and growing and the way relationships i have with the people in my life have pushed me to develop into the person i am.  I think i know everything there is to know right now but man in reality there is so much i will never know, making life just a big chase at becoming the decent and enlightened person you want to be.

Man I've sure trained myself to be so tough these days.  After a while of being so broken up over some things I've FINALLY reached a place where i can stand firm on my own two feet.  Everything now is just water under the bridge.  Life has so much to offer, it blows my mind.  But it's confusing because now that I've reached where i am today there's a vulnerable part of me that wants to come out and even my tough cookie logical side says not to stifle it.  I guess there must be a balance between logic and that innocent vulnerablity.  And i suppose with owning that vulnerability comes the necessary mind set of an openness to new experiences and a variety of different emotions, most likely pain.  I've built these walls around me to protect myself and I guess in taking them down I will most likely be hurt eventually but hell life's too short and i've been realizing it more everyday.  I feel like i am 20 going on 40!  not that that is a bad thing...

Ahhhh... life..... so confusing!!